For almost sixteen years me and my family sat under superficial biblical teaching that was driven by either programs or purpose all born out of a faulty theology that "had a form of Godliness", and it was very easy to run to the light that they were shining because it was a light that had been "put under a bushel", it was just enough of the true Light not to offend the eyes of my heart, it was like looking "through a glass darkly" but only worse, because I had been given sun glasses to wear and I gladly put them on. But now after a year long steady diet of sound biblical doctrine from a local expository preacher who's presentation of the Light is being "set on a candlestick", the scales have been removed from my darkened mind and now several things have become very apparent to me in my own life. First it is quite clear that my wicked heart is being exposed to more Light than ever before and this is proving to be a very painful process to endure, because the first reaction of my flesh is to run from the glaring Light that has "been shed abroad in my heart", or I want to try and hide my sin from the Light. These two gut reactions are not acceptable to a true Christian they both leave me wanting and defeated and neither reaction leaves me fulfilled but convicted in my spirit of some wrong doing. Second I am understanding more of what it means to press on, you see, I see myself for what I truly am and it's an ugly site to behold but I find that the Light is so attractive to me like never before and it's beauty is so desirable that I no longer want to hide my sins or flee, but I want to run to the Light so that there is no longer any more hiding places for my guilt and burden to remain. This is a very difficult time in my walk with Christ as I have found myself so unsuspectingly crushed by sins that I have never dealt with before and some that I have really never realized were hindering my walk and my witness.
So I pray that God will continue to expose me to more of the Light of His Word in hopes that my darkened heart will shine brighter and brighter with the love and truth of Jesus Christ all to His glory, please forgive me Lord and help me to kill my sin daily with more of Your Light. Amen